When I’m working with my female clients, who are mostly over 40, the first thing I ask is, what do you want to achieve, or what’s your ultimate goal, and I am so amazed that the response is almost always the same: “I want to be Happy” , “to be fulfilled”.
It’s not because we are women in mid-life, that we want fulfilment and happiness, it’s because we are human. Common Humanity, we have a universal drive for what Aristotle and Cicero after him suggest ‘MANS’ (we all know the Greeks and Romans were obsessed by the male form!!) ultimate goal the highest good (summon bonum), was to achieve happiness. So we haven’t changed much in 2400 + years.
Have you ever imagined your ideal self, the best version of you?
Imagine your superhero, or alter ego smiling and waving at you.
Can you see her?!
(I’m being serious. Take a long slow breath, 10 seconds should do it and bring that especially awesome you to life in your mind.)
I haven’t gone mad. Honestly, here’s how this works: That ideal version of you is pretty much watching you all day every day. The Stoic philosophers called this “the Other.” Modern theologians would call it your conscience.
In those ancient days, another name for the highest version of yourself was “daimon”, a sort of inner soul and guiding spirit that exists within each of us.
I love that, and since I was 44 (11 years ago!!!), I took the huge decision to walk away from what I had originally thought was the job of my dreams, only to realise it was not for me. I have worked hard on what that looks like for me.
I have even named her!!
Being or getting clear on our identity and who we want to BE, has proven to be the number one tool in helping us to live happier lives and to flourish.
Ancient philosophers considered your relationship with this inner soul THE most important thing in life. They said that if you want to be happy you need to be on really good terms with your daimon.
In fact, their word for happiness was eudaimōn, which literally means “good soul.”
All of which begs the question: How’s your relationship with your inner soul?
You won’t be surprised – the worst version of ourselves – The Demon – stems from the etymology of eudaimōn!!
So, watch that little pesky shoulder sitting fleabag, this is the one that whispers in your ear, “you are not good enough”, the one that says “who do you think you are” when you are about to take those steps forward into your next big idea or begin to awaken your dreams. Give her a swift flick off!!
So, my parting question for you, importantly for today (and everyday): What’s one little thing you can do to +1 that relationship today? Get clear, what’s your BEST SELF. Name her and let me know.
Ahh yes I hear you, what’s the name of my Eudiamon? Well, she is the Zen Warrior Goddess.
Stay Focussed, Keep Positive and Choose to +1 in Every Moment.