Live The Life You Want

There are four fundamental problems that keep people from living the lives they want to live.

Over the last 30 years being in the Personal Growth and Self-Actualization Space I have learnt, sometimes the hard way!!, how much happiness and satisfaction you get out of life depends on how well you can free yourself from ‘your problems’.

Phil Stutz and Barry Michel’s came up with a great set of what they call the Tools that work effectively on our problems in their book of the same name ‘The Tools’ Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity

This is WHY I think WE NEED TOOLS

“A change in attitude won’t stop you from screaming, because attitudes can’t control behaviour, they’re not strong enough.

To control behaviour you need a specific process to use at a specific time to combat a specific problem. That’s what a tool is. ... The point is that a tool—unlike an attitude adjustment- requires you to do something.

Not only does it take work, it’s also work you have to do over and over again - every time you get frustrated.

A new attitude means nothing unless followed by a change in behaviour

Changing attitude isn’t enough.

We need to consistently take ACTION if we want to see change in our lives.

That’s what the Tools help us do - giving us practical tools to powerfully face the common challenges of life as we consistently connect to something bigger than ourselves that’ll help us rock it.

There are five tools. each solves a different type of problem or challenge and is associated with a different “Higher Force.” Here they are in a nutshell:

Tool #1: The Reversal of Desire The Higher Force: Forward Motion

We all tend to avoid emotional pain. This is not good. It *dramatically* limits our potential. If we want to have a shot at actualizing our potential, we need to “reverse our desire” and, rather than crawl up in a little ball and try to avoid pain, we want to discipline ourselves to GET EXCITED about the challenges in our lives. We need to know (!) that our infinite potential exists on the other side of our comfort zones and that the only way to break through to that infinite potential is to BRING ON!! the pain, learn to love it, and use it to catalyse our growth. Easier said than done but, wow. This Tool works – try it.

Tool #2: Active Love The Higher Force: Outflow

Do you ever get stuck in a mental loop—where you’re looping around in your head again and again and again about all the things someone has done that annoy you? Stutz and Michel’s call that “The Maze.” We want to notice when we’re stuck in the maze and get out. How? Use the Active Love tool. Focus on your heart and, rather than mentally beat the person up who annoyed you, beam them love. Sounds a little weird but it makes you defiantly feel better and breaks that thought pattern.

Tool #3: Inner Authority The Higher Force: Self-Expression

How’s your shadow doing these days? You know, that part of you that you most want to hide from the world? Well, we need to bring that darkness to light. Without integrating those aspects of ourselves we’re ashamed or embarrassed about, we can’t fully trust ourselves and express ourselves with authority.

Tool #4: The Grateful Flow The Higher Force: The Source

Feeling overwhelmed, annoyed or unfulfilled?  It’s time to connect to Source by getting your grateful flow on.  We all know that gratitude is scientifically proven to boost our mood but discipline your mind to *always* see the amazing things in your life. Get your grateful flow flowing. Use a journal or create a habit of acknowledging your gratitude each morning or evening, flip those feelings.

Tool #5: Jeopardy The Higher Force: Willpower

All those Tools are nice but guess what? They take time and commitment to implement Stutz and Michel’s make the genius point that we all want to be “exonerated” from future work. We want to tap into the magic Secret that allows us to be done with this whole “hard work” thing once and for all. That’s not how it works. We need willpower if we want to actualize.


Very few models of human growth accept this, let alone give you a way to build your willpower. Instead, they pretend it’s easy to change your life.

I know and you know it isn’t. My and their approach is the opposite: we’re telling you the truth about how difficult it’s going to be—and we’re going to make you strong enough to face the challenge.

Doing that means increasing your willpower—which is what the fifth tool does. In a sense it’s the most important one—the tool that makes sure you keep using the other tools. It won’t matter how effective the other four are if you don’t use them.” Willpower. It’s the heart of optimal living.

If you want to tap into the magic of these and many other scientifically proven tools join me from next Monday – 27th June  - in my FREE 5 Day Challenge and I’ll Reveal How 45+ Women Can Start To Overcome That Self-Doubt And 'Not Good Enoughness', Reignite Their Purpose, Reclaim Their Identity And Get The Self-Belief To Go After What They REALLY Want In Life

by Using My Proven A.S.P.I.R.E© Model."

Sign Up here -